Literature: Novelists to Oprah: "Sell our books for us, please!"

Harry Potter

Caramel Mocha Chip Light Frappuchino (no whip)

Jesus Christ

Oprah Winfrey

No four figures things have made more people visit bookstores.

The starving fiction writers appeal to Oprah, "Save Us!"

Oprah says, "I never knew ye."

So, with all due drama, fanfare, and histrionic personality disorders, we proudly announce the Sparkgrass Bookclub! And our first selection is none other but Samuel Shem's internship epic of comedic proportions, The House of God.

We're guaranteed to sell "the limit as x approaches infinity of 47 / (3x + 1)" books for these starving authors!