Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Scientology Sucks: So happy to be veggie (or at least not a cannibal)

Placentae are every medical student's worst nightmare. After pushing with mom for hours, grumpy resident comes in, pushes student out of way, delivers baby, and commands medical study to deliver the placenta.

If you look up placenta in the dictionary, here it goes:

pla·cen·ta (pl-snt) n. pl. pla·cen·tas or pla·cen·tae (-t)
A membranous vascular organ that develops in female mammals during pregnancy, lining the uterine wall and partially enveloping the fetus, to which it is attached by the umbilical cord. Following birth, the placenta is expelled. An organ with similar functions in some nonmammalian animals, such as certain sharks and reptiles.
Botany. The part within the ovary of a flowering plant to which the ovules are attached.
If you ask a medical student to provide a definition for placenta, here that goes:

Oh my f---ing God, what the f---ing motherf--- is that f---ing alien piece of s--- crawling out of that goopy meconium f---ing stained bloody f---ing chasm that used to be a woman.
No, seriously. They're that disgusting. In fact, they're disgustinger than that.

And Tom wants to eat it.

Now I realize that I'm not being particularly culturally sensitive here. Some cultures are into this placenta-eating stuff, and I guess that's cool.

Wait, no it's not. It's disgusting. Go back to your home planet, you placenta-eating weirdos.

I've gagged 3 times and almost spit my Earl Grey all over the monitor just while typing this.

Placenta = gross. Don't eat placentae.

Should this be in lasagna? I don't think so. Should it be in an alien movie? Yes. Placentae are really aliens who are just using humans to make more of themselves.

4 comments:

Pepper said...

Come on, Garrett, what's your favorite placenta recipe?

Matz said...

Also from that article, ""And scientifically it is proven. Now there are medical research papers that say when a woman's giving birth everyone should be quiet."

Matz said...

Actually, this is apparently a joke taken out of context (not that Cruise isn't still totally weird). Check out http://www.canada.com/topics/entertainment/story.html?id=345d4313-2e14-4d3b-a8de-317ea7616149&k=67596

Josh said...

Remember that EA Sports game Road Rash? I think you rode motorcycles and delivered beatings with clubs at the same time. Anyway, I believe there was a track on that game called Spicy Placenta. Tom will probably have his with some Crazy Juice.