The best of times, the worst of times

According to Pat Forde (who is apparently the only guy at ESPN I find worth reading, or at least quoting:

KENTUCKY (8)

Best case: Randolph Morris and Joe Crawford reach previously untapped reservoirs of passion, Ramel Bradley quits throwing the ball away and the Wildcats surprisingly pull out of a two-year tailspin by upsetting Kansas and reaching the regional final. Fans at least halfheartedly chant "Tub-by! Tub-by! Tub-by!" after every victory. Back home in Rupp Arena, Louisville loses in the first round.

Worst case: Fans chant "Tubby Must Go!" after phlegmatic Cats bow out against Villanova, their seventh loss in the final 10 games. To their dismay, athletic director Mitch Barnhart stands by his man for another season. Morris and Crawford go pro, hotly pursued recruits Patrick Patterson and Jai Lucas go to Duke and Oklahoma State, respectively, and Rick Pitino takes Louisville to the Final Four again.

Word on the street is that Patrick Patterson reads a lot of message boards and the such (maybe that's just the anxiety of those of us who worry about what retards say on those things). So, Patrick, if you happen to run across Sparkgrass, know that the rational wing of the Kentucky Wildcat Nation will be throwing huge parties on the day you join us, and wearing blue and black instead of blue and white for weeks if you don't.

Same goes for you, Jai. But the rumors don't tell us that you read blogs and message boards quite as fervently.

Note: I claim exemption from delusions of grandeur when I think that there is an infinitesimally small chance one of these guys would run across this page. That infinitesimal chance is more than enough