Tuesday, March 27, 2007

And I thought my high school biology teacher was an idiot (not clairvoyant)

I REALLY wish I had made this story up, rather than being forced to document the sad truth about secondary science education in the Bluegrass State.

Imagine fifteen year old Garrett:

[Biology classroom, fifth period right after lunch. Garrett resumes his daily routine of walking into biology class and promptly falling asleep on his back pack. For some reason, Garrett can't sleep today, and feels a little guilty for being so flippant about a science class. He tries to feign some interest in Ms C's biology lecture]

Ms C: So, you get twins when two sperm fertilize the same egg...

Garrett: [mystified that the state of Kentucky would pay someone to say something like that in a biology class, sits up] Wait, did you just say that twins are caused by two sperm fertilizing the same egg?

Ms C: Yeah, that's how we get twins.

Garrett: [looks around room to other people he knows with IQs over 12, fails to find anyone else even remotely paying attention] But...

[Ms C continues with lecture on nothing, Garrett is able to return to his post-lunch nap with a clear conscience]
But now, Ms C's delusions are newly-minted medical science. Semi-identical twins, produced by the fertilization of one egg with two sperm, have now been documented.
[Cue Fade Music: "It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)"]
Now if that whole Creationism thing would just pan out, Ms C might win the Nobel Prize.

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