Tennis: Nothing could be sweeter than a Hewitt loss in the Aussie Open finals.

I can't speak for everyone, but I'm fed up with Lleyton Hewitt's exponentially increasing asinine behavior at the 2005 Australian Open. Before the spitting controversy with Chela, I noticed a peculiar incident--that mild-mannered and former Harvard All-American James Blake reacted to Hewitt's "celebrations." Blake is a classy guy, and his mocking fist pump of Hewitt did not come without provocation.

Commentary from the booth (Patrick McEnroe, Dick Enberg, et al) leads us to believe that the players in general are not happy with the Aussie's antics, and his three signature taunts seem to be maximizing the "Piss off your opponents" function. I'll lay them out for you non-tennis watchers.

1.) "Come On!" This is a loud, cacophonous shout by Hewitt, usually heard several times during a match.

2.) The fist pump. Now, it's not that screaming "come on" or pumping a fist is bad, but doing it when your opponent makes an unforced error is questionable at best. This is why everyone's getting red.

3.) The lawnmower. Credit commentator Patrick McEnroe with this term, which describes Hewitt dropping to one knee and pumping his fist at the ground. It appears as though he's trying to start a $20 lawnmower, but the Australian Open is played on a hard surface, not grass. (See picture below)



Hewitt plays the incredible Russian Marat Safin in the final (Sunday on ESPN2, 3:30 a.m. EST and probably replayed at 2:00 p.m. EST), and I'm sure you can tell who I'll be pumping my fist for.