Film: Avoid 'Hide and Seek' like a syphilitic weiner

Hide and Seek. Seriously, it's another one of those cheap bullshit doppleganger movies that totally farts out in the last 20 minutes. Just like Secret Window, which smelled something akin to an untreated three-month old vaginosis.

Although, if you're doing a thesis on, say, the development of Dakota Fanning into an amazing actress, this movie might be of interest, as the girl's performance is absolutely sickeningly fantastic. She might even save War of the Worlds from Tom Cruise and his scientology cronies.

But otherwise, Hide and Seek. Syphilis. Associate these two directly, as they cause equivocal pain to your nervous system.